【112年翻譯所備考心得】在真的迷惘與虛假堅定中來回掙扎

決定報考翻譯研究所絕對是我人生中做過最倉促的決定之一，不過我的個性向來如此，需要點衝動，才能為人生翻開不同的篇章。備考的過程中，我不斷夢想是不是明年三、四月時，我也能有資格寫一篇上榜心得？但同時又怕到時寫是落榜心得，所以想著想著，何不來寫篇備考心得，順便磨練一下自己生鏽多時的中文文筆。

Taking the GITI (Graduate Institute of Translation and Interpretation) entrance exams is certainly one of the hastiest decisions that I have ever made in my life, but this is what I am like, and a sudden impulse helps me begin a new chapter of life. While I was preparing for the exams, I kept dreaming that I would be able to write a story about my success next March or April, but at the same time, I am afraid that it will be a story about failure instead. As I was pondering over that, I decided that a story about the preparation would do as well. Plus it can also help me brush up on my Chinese.

明年二、三月會是台師大、台大以及彰師大這三間國內的翻譯所考試的時間，這幾間國立的翻譯所想必也是許多有志於考取翻譯所的人會優先選擇的，當然國內也有其他私立學校的翻譯所也相當不錯，不過青菜蘿蔔各有所好，以下會以準備上述三間國立翻譯所的備考過程為主。

I plan to apply for NTNU, NTU and NCUE. The exams fall next February and March. The three graduate institutes are presumably other people's top choices as well. Of course, there are other private universities that have good GITI, but one man's meat is another man's poison; therefore, I will mainly focus on the preparation of the three public GITI mentioned above.

構思這篇文章的時候，還是十二月上旬，我一邊看著《編譯論叢》一邊望著111年度的台師大考古題發呆，在此之前，我的準備方向大致是每天瘋狂地看英文新聞網站，舉凡CNN, BBC, Reuters, The Economist之類的陳腔濫調都盡量塞進腦袋，運動、通勤時佐以數個英文Podcast，欺騙自己是在練習英文聽力，這麼做的樂趣與枯燥參半，然而愈接近考試，開始要看考古題的時候，卻愈容易懷疑自己的準備方向，什麼樣的準備方向才對呢？聽了台師大、台大的學長姐在說明會上講得口沫橫飛，每人都有自己的準備方向，其差異程度可說是「一個翻譯所考試，各自表述」，說到底，這本來就是個沒有範圍的考試，你甚至不知道評分標準是什麼，題型每年都在變化，例如近兩年台師大考題出現譯評，英翻中考科裡甚至沒有一題要求你把英文文章翻成中文。另外，考試範圍包山包海，彷彿作為一位翻譯所學生必須是本行走百科全書，台大111年度的考題就給我此種感覺，「你沒有看大聯盟，那你考試就完了！」（台大當年考題出現大谷翔平與MLB停工事件）那麼作為一位迷茫的考生，我只能不斷催眠自己，多看、多聽，讀什麼都有用，（但也可能讀什麼都沒用）不論知不知道方向，讀就對了，我甚至把寫這篇文章當成是考題練習了。

I wrote this article in early December. I was reading Compilation and Translation Review and staring blankly at NTNU's previous exam from 2021. Before that, how I prepared the exam was that I read as much English news as possible. I input those cliches from CNN, BBC, Reuters and The Economist into my brain. I listened to English podcasts when commuting as a practice in disguise. Life has been fun but also monotonous. As the exams come closer, I have become more doubtful about the preparation. Am I heading toward the right direction? I listened to the seniors from NTNU and NTU passionately and eloquently share their stories, but everyone had a distinct approach. It was basically like "A GITI 1992 consensus." After all, we will be tested on every kinds of topics. You don't even know the assessment criteria, and the questions vary every year. For instance, the NTNU exams from the past two years ask you to write a translation criticism. Translation from English to Mandarin was totally excluded from the test. Moreover, students might be tested on everything as if they had to install an encyclopedia in their brain. The NTU test from 2021 gave me an exact feeling like this––"If you don't watch MLB, you are screwed." Therefore, confused by all the process, I could only gaslight myself, telling myself that everything I read and listen to will eventually pay off.

坦白說，沒有一刻的堅定瞬間是真實的，堅定的感覺多半是虛幻的，多半是腦袋為了說服自己讀下去而捏造出來的，如同政客言論一般虛假、令人作噁。如果你也是和我ㄧ樣一邊工作一邊備考的話，應該知道我在說什麼，一方面要放心力在工作上，一方面在零碎的時間背單字、閱讀、訓練聽力，永遠都有記不完的知識，你以為自己記得了，請朋友考你單字，答得出來了，但過了幾天又發現其實你已經忘了，好個薛西佛斯式的準備過程！但為什麼我要一直把這塊石頭往上推？是各種壓力、擔心、甚至焦慮轉化成了虛假的堅定力量，把我往前帶，聽上去很不合理，但我說過，沒有一刻的堅定是真實的。

Frankly speaking, every moment of perseverance has been fake. That kind of feeling, invented by my own brain to talk myself into being persistent, has mostly been unrealistic, phony, and repugnant as a politician's remarks. If you have a job, and you study for the tests at the same time, just like me, you should know what I am talking about. You need to put some effort on work and meanwhile, try to memorize vocabulary, read, and practice listening piecemeal, but there is always more to memorize. You might think you already remembered everything, so you have a friend test you on the vocabulary. You might manage to answer it, but you might as well forget it a few days later. What a sisyphean task! But why am I rolling this boulder up the hill? It is the pressure, worry and anxiety that transformed into a fake resilience that prompts me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but as I just said, not a single moment of perseverance has been real.

今年突然很流行一個詞「安靜離職」（quiet quitting ），指的是一個人不再從工作上追尋成就感和責任感，這在我身上也發生了，考試佔據了我大部分心思，工作上我只求以最低心力完成，不被客訴就謝天謝地。不過，隨著準備過程中，不斷地迷茫與催眠自己堅強，我似乎也在漸漸的進行「安靜備考」，不再堅持一定要翻譯多少文字，一定要記得多少單字，更遑論成就感那種本來就沒有的東西，這看來不是什麼好事，也許唯一的好處是，萬一落榜，得失心不會太重吧。

"Quiet quitting" is a term that has gone viral this year. It means that one no longer expects a sense of accomplishment and responsibility from work, and that has happened to me. The exams take up most of my mind, so I devote the least amount of effort to my job––as long as I do not receive any complaints from the customers. Nonetheless, as I remain confused and keep telling myself to be tough, I might as well be practicing the "quiet test preparation." I no longer insist on translating a certain amount of words or memorizing a certain amount of vocabulary every day, let alone the bogus sense of accomplishment. This is seemingly bad. Perhaps the only advantage of it is that I will not collapse if I fail the exams.

說到這，我甚至開始懷疑為什麼要考這個試，為什麼非翻譯所不讀，我想我心中應是有個答案的，下回再繼續。

Now I even started to question myself on why I am taking the exams. Why does it have to be GITI? I should have an answer, so allow me to continue next time.