和大家分享一下我的心路歷程吧
My journey
Let me share a bit about my journey. Going to college really does make a difference—it shifts my perspective on the world. I met all kinds of people and face all sorts of situations.
Somewhere along the way, I started to change.But why?
What made me start questioning my own logic and worldview?
Well, because of MY FRIEND.
A serious argument
Honestly, when I first found out, I felt like an old TV set crackling and about to break down.
Needless to say, my friend and I ended up having a serious argument about it. Afterward, I took some time to think.
I still don’t agree with making money that way but I've come to understand it.
After all, I also had to support myself through high school and college—I just chose tutoring and part-time jobs instead.
I know it's hard!
I know how tough it is to earn your own tuition—it’s exhausting. I get that the world is full of temptations. Perhaps we all want shortcuts, something simpler, something easier. But there's no "easy mode" in life.
I’ve come to believe that the more I try to take shortcuts, the harder it gets to find one. I don’t think life works that way—at least, not from where I stand. I just don’t buy into the idea of shortcuts.
Risk
I think the biggest risk is whether one’s values will change.
People influence their environment, but the environment can also shape who we become.
I once read a quote that really resonated with me:
"Stay close to good people, and it’s like being in a room filled with orchids and sandalwood—you’ll eventually stop noticing their fragrance. Stay close to bad people, and it’s like being in a shop selling dried fish—the smell will eventually become unbearable."
Can't change
The only thing I can change is myself—I can’t change my friend.
So, I adjusted my perspective. I don’t judge her, and we’re still friends, but we went from close friends to more casual ones.
With such different values, it’s easy to argue, so keeping a bit of distance seems best.
Different Approaches
At first, I couldn’t accept it, but then I realized: maybe we just handle problems differently.
It reminded me of a situation back in middle school.
When I was bullied, my solution was to work on my self-defense and get stronger. When she was bullied, her solution was to start dating a guy.
In the end, we both got through it without anything bad happening. The difference is, she’s always hoped for a knight in shining armor to rescue her. As for me, I believe
I am my own knight in shining armor.
改變
可能是環境的關係，大學前的我是這樣的
笑貧也笑娼
可能上大學真的挺重要，看世界的角度會不一樣
會遇到各式各樣的人、各式各樣的狀況
到了大學的某年，我變了。
變得
不笑貧也不笑娼了
為什麼會這樣
到底我為什麼會去檢視我自己的邏輯、世界觀
揭曉答案：
因為
我的好朋友跑去當陪酒小姐了!
!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
老實說，我知道這個消息時，整個人像是老舊的電視機
快壞掉了
可想而知
我和朋友發生了嚴重的
激烈言語衝突
衝突過後
我思考了一下
仍是非常不贊同用這樣的方式換取金錢
但
變得可以理解
因為我也是高中、大學 學費都要自力更生
只是我是選擇去做家教、打工
她選擇去做陪酒小姐
我們吵架的內容大概就圍繞著以下幾點
- 你會不會進去之後，價值觀被改變
- 喝酒傷身
- 可能要熬夜
- 被性騷擾的機率應該較普通職場高很多
- 可能會被騙
- 會不會被控制?
- 風險太高，安全風險、價值觀風險
- 你之後會不會被帶出場?
- 得性病的風險
- 你真的覺得這樣的生活比較容易嗎?
- 你未來的職業規劃是什麼?
- 你把肢體接觸拿去換成錢，那你對愛情的定義會不會變呢？
我覺得風險最大的就是價值觀是否會改變這點。人會影響環境，但環境也會改變人。我讀過一句話，挺贊同的
與善人居，如入芝蘭之室，久而不聞其香；與不善人居，如入鮑魚之肆，久而不聞其臭。
奈何
我能改變的只有自己，我沒辦法改變朋友
所以
我改了自己的價值觀──不笑貧也不笑娼
我不鄙視你，也繼續跟你當朋友
只是從好朋友，變成了普通朋友
畢竟三觀不合，容易吵架，還是離遠一點
失望
我知道要靠自己賺學費是艱辛、疲憊的。
也明白這個世界充滿誘惑，讓人不禁渴望走捷徑，想要輕鬆一點、簡單一點。
然而，我相信這個世界並沒有「簡單模式」。
我想，如果我越想走捷徑，就越難走到目的地。
以我的能力與見識，就算人生真的有「簡單模式」，我並不覺得自己可以駕馭
思路不同
我本來很不能接受周圍友人跑去陪酒，但後來想想
可能是我們解決問題的思路不同
我想到我國中發生的事情
我被校園霸凌，我的解題思路是──把拳練好一點
我同學被霸凌，他的解題思路是──交了一個男朋友
後來，我們都沒有再被校園霸凌了
差別可能就在於，我同學希望一個白馬王子，拯救他
而我，覺得
我自己──就是自己的白馬王子
