I'm Not a Savior After All
Why did I find myself thinking, “So I'm not a savior after all”?
It all started a few years ago with one of my students.He was in ninth grade at the time.
One day, out of the blue, he said to me,
“I can't come to cram school anymore. I have to transfer to a school really far away.”
“Huh? What happened? That's so sudden! And you're already in ninth grade—most students don't transfer during such a critical year,” I asked, confused.
(For context: in Taiwan, ninth grade is when students take the all-important high school entrance exams. It's a turning point in their academic life, and no one transfers lightly.)
他踏上了別條路
He replied, “It's not like I want to transfer in ninth grade.”
“Then why do you have to?” I asked.
He said calmly, “Remember I told you I got into a fight at school?”
“Yeah, but that was a while ago. Didn't the school already deal with it?” I thought the incident had been resolved.
“Well... I guess I ended up hitting too many teachers after that,” he said, almost matter-of-factly.
!!!
Did I really just hear that? I couldn't believe my ears.
I already knew he was on medication and classified as a special needs student. I knew he sometimes lashed out when he couldn't control his emotions.
Back then, even going to the restroom meant asking the front desk to keep an eye on our classroom—just in case he started a fight over something small, like taking another student's stuff without asking.
But I never imagined things had gotten to the point where he had to transfer schools for attacking multiple teachers.
“Wait... do schools still expel students these days?” I asked.
I knew he'd already received three major demerits, but would that really mean he couldn't stay in school?
“It's not exactly an expulsion,” he said. “More like they persuaded me to leave. None of the nearby schools want to take me, so I have to transfer to one really far away.”
“It got that serious? How many teachers did you hit?” I asked.
“A few, I guess,” he said, his expression blank, eyes steady.
I let out a long sigh.
I really thought I could make a difference in his life.
But it turns out— I can't save everyone I meet.
It turns out— I'm not a savior after all.
往事
為什麼我會有這樣的想法
原來，我不是救世主。
是源於好幾年前，我有一位學生
他那年國三
突然跟我說：「老師，我不能補習了。我要轉去很遠的地方讀書」
??
????
??????
「怎麼了？那麼突然！而且你已經國三了，很少人在國三這個關鍵時期轉校吧？」我有點疑惑地問他 (國三生要面臨升高中會考，這是人生一場大考試。通常不會在這關鍵時期轉學才對)
「這我也不想在國三轉學啊！」他說道
「那你為什麼要轉學啊？」我問道
「我之前不是跟你說我在學校毆打同學嗎？」他平淡地說道
「那件事情不是過一陣子了，而且你學校不是已經處分過你了？」我以為事情已經過去
「可能是之後我又打了太多老師。」他繼續訴說他的難處
!!!!
!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
我到底聽到了什麼？我有點懷疑我的耳朵
我當時是知道他有在吃藥，是特殊生。也知道他情緒上來會打人，我上班時連去個廁所，都要請前面櫃台盯著我們班，免得他又因為擅自拿同學東西，跟其他學生起衝突。
但我沒想到他會因為毆打太多學校老師而在國三轉學
「現在還有退學制度嗎？」我知道他早已集滿三支大過，但是會因為這樣不能去學校嗎？我挺疑惑，就直接問他
「好像不是退學，而是勸退吧。而且附近的學校都不願意收我，只能轉去很遠地學校。」他說道
「這麼嚴重啊！你到底打了學校老師幾次？」
「好幾次吧」他用平淡地眼神繼續盯著我
我嘆了一口氣
我以為
我可以改變他的
沒想到
原來
我沒有辦法拯救每一個遇到的人
原來
我不是救世主
P.S.我有用Chat GPT幫我抓錯字
