薪水小偷？
A "Salary Thief"?
Characters: A teacher and a second-year high school student
This happened years ago, but it still strikes me as absurd.
One day, I stepped into the classroom as usual.
"How’s everyone doing?" I greeted the students warmly.
After the usual pleasantries, one of the students suddenly complained.
"Do you know? Some of the teachers at our school are total salary thieves." She frowned, her tone dripping with disdain.
"Whoa, what happened? Who got you so worked up?" I asked, intrigued.
"It’s our English teacher! Every time we have composition class, she doesn’t even bother grading our essays. It’s ridiculous! If she’s not going to grade them, what’s the point of having the class?" she griped.
"Well, composition class is still valuable. At least you learn how English essays are structured differently from Chinese ones—the logic and flow aren’t the same," I replied.
"But why doesn’t she grade them after class? She’s just taking a paycheck without doing her job!" the student huffed, her frustration evident.
"You know," I began, "this might not be her fault—it could be a problem with the system itself."
"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
"Let me ask you something: Imagine you graduate and start working at a company. If they assign you tasks but don’t pay you, would you think that’s fair?"
"Of course not! Why should I work without getting paid? That would mean my effort isn’t valued," she replied indignantly.
"Exactly. Here’s the thing: Students who take my class pay 2,000 to 3,000 NTD per person to my team. However, if I grade their essays, I don’t get paid for it—no salary at all. In other words, I only earn money for teaching the class, not for spending the same amount of time grading your work," I said. (This is the absurd reality of the situation, and I explained the truth to them slowly and calmly.)
"Wait, what? Then why would you grade my essays? That seems so unfair to you!" she exclaimed, suddenly looking genuinely concerned.
"Because I see grading as a chance to learn and grow. Work isn’t just about earning money—it's also about building skills. Grading essays is part of that for me. If I didn’t review your work, how else would I discover sentences like She can difficult (meant to mean her life is difficult)? I’d never come up with something like that on my own!" I said with a laugh.
"Alright, I get it. No investigation, no right to complain. Honestly, I don’t know all the details about your school’s policies either. But the point is, don't take things for granted," I concluded.
以下是搜了圖庫「小偷」兩個字，跑出來的圖片
"It takes me about 1.5 to 2 hours to revise a single English essay. Now, consider this—your class has nearly 40 students. If you expect your school teacher to grade essays the way I do, how late would she have to work? Would she have any time left to prepare lessons, handle administrative tasks, or actually teach?
Even for me, I limit essay revisions to a maximum of five students at a time. Each essay requires in-depth discussions about structure, outlining, sentence patterns, word choices, and phrasing. With all the back-and-forth, it takes about six hours to finalize a single essay (with 2-3 rounds of revisions)."
She furrowed her brow, looking thoughtful.
"You’re right. Next time, I’ll do some research before jumping to conclusions."
Conclusion
If grading essays isn't compensated, then calling teachers "salary thieves" doesn't make sense.
After all, no salary, no theft!
荒誕
腳色：老師一名
腳色：高二女學生一名
這是好幾年前的事情了，但我仍然覺得挺荒誕的
某天，我仍然像以往一樣踏進教室
「你們今天過得如何？」我和同學打著招呼
打完招呼，有一位學生突然抱怨道
「老師，你知道嗎？我們學校老師根本薪水小偷。」她不悅地皺眉頭，用有點不屑的語氣說道
「怎麼了？誰惹你了，火氣那麼大？」我問道
「就我們學校的英文老師，每次上英文作文課，都不幫我們改，真的很誇張。既然不改，幹嘛要上」高二女生抱怨道
「英文作文還是上一下比較好吧！起碼你知道和中文的起承轉合不一樣。中英文結構不同」我回答道
「可是上完課，她為什麼不幫我們改作文？光拿薪水不辦事情」高二女生繼續氣乎乎地抱怨
「其實，這可能是制度的問題，不是你們老師的問題。」我說道
「什麼意思？」她有點困惑，語氣微揚
「我問你一個問題喔，如果你之後畢業了去公司上班。公司叫你做事情，但不給你發薪水，你覺得合理嗎？」
「當然不合理啊！憑什麼我做事情不給錢？難道我做的事情沒有價值嗎？」她理所當然的回答道
「我講白一點好了。上我一堂課2000-3000，可是我如果幫同學改作文，我拿不到錢。也就是說，我只有上課能夠拿錢，幫學生改作文花一樣的時間，但沒錢。」我用緩慢地語調陳述事實
「啥？那老師你怎麼會幫我改作文？這不是太委屈了嗎？」她竟然開始關心我
「因為我把改作文視為一種學習機會。上班不就是賺錢+學本事嗎？改作文算是學本事。我如果不實際下去改，我怎麼會知道你們會寫出She can difficult.(她的生活很艱難)這種句子？我想破頭都想不到這種寫法」我笑笑地說道
「好啦！沒有調查就沒有發言權。其實我也不知道你們學校的實際狀況。只是要告訴你，看事情不要太理所當然。」
「我改一篇英文作文大概1.5-2小時，你們班大概快40人，如果你要求學校老師像我這樣改作文，她是得加班到什麼時候？老師都不用備課、不用做行政、也不用上課了嗎？我改作文也都控制在五個學生以內而已。要討論結構、作文大綱、句型、用字遣詞，這樣來來回回大概也要六個小時才有辦法結束一篇作文(一篇作文修改2-3次)」
她若有所思的皺了皺眉頭
「我知道了，我下次發言前會先去調查一下的。」
總結
如果老師改作文根本沒錢
所謂地薪水小偷根本不存在
沒有薪水，哪來的小偷？
