年近尾聲,Goodreads上最佳詩集的年度評比進入最後階段。所有詩集參選作品中我只讀了《美國憂鬱》,但投票給Joyce Carol Oates的《美國憂鬱》詩集卻不僅僅因為她的詩歌中有著太多扣人心弦的詩句——
關於聽話、服從,她寫道:
“Because in the deep brain, the chanting of elders.
Do as we say. Do as we say. Do as we say.
Because in the deep brain, the elders have no pity.
Do as we say. Do as we say. Do as we say.
Because in the deep brain, no soul but pebbles thrust into the
mouth.
Do as we say. Do as we say. Do as we say.”
重複的「Do as we say…」讓我想起兒時常常在我每一次嘗試失敗後聽到母親惡狠狠的兩句話:「不聽老人言 吃虧在眼前」和「活該」。一個碰壁的孩子應該得到安慰、鼓勵,卻不是來自母親的「活該」和嘲笑。任何長輩亦應如此。
關於衝突與對立的情緒,她寫道:
“we ask ourselves
why did it matter
so much
to have the last
word?
or any
word?
“We of the Su Qijian family have never lamented or mourned
for our privilege is to have been allowed to be born.”
擁有privilege的那些家庭或許很少會質疑—
“So we are blessed, we are of the
People’s Republic of China. We are alive.
For some Chinese couples just one baby was allowed. For some
others, more than one baby was allowed. And for some, girl babies
were allowed. We do not understand these decrees,
and we do not question.”