I finally cross the gap in the mind. The difficulties were practicing English step by step and making friends with open attitude instead of staying in comfortable zone. For example, no matter I confront perplexities, I select to tackle the mental and real problems such as school application, signing up the language exams. Not because I rely on my effort, the fact is the strength from my belief. He gave me faith from inside to outside no matter how bad I’m. He just spontaneously give his abilities to me with no reward.
I start to engage in writing my CV details and SOP. Making aggressive learning ambition becomes my energy in lots of aims. Somethings changes and I believe that my effort pushes me progressively. That’s not a fictitious prospect anymore. I can’t fabricate the truth to let others feel I’m good. It can’t benefit to me in long relationship even for myself.