概要
鑒於前幾篇學測作文的文章分析本人自己寫的內容，許多朋友可能會被裡頭的用字，或複雜的架構，勸退。我仔細想了一下，決定用更為簡單的字眼、字句來改寫這篇短文；目的是「提供寫作練習的方向，讓讀者也能自行改寫，從而提升自己的寫作能力。」
原版
People (1) prefer emojis to verbal expressions (2) in terms of internet communication (3) for their simplicity of expression. (4) They can convey a message without texting the entire thing out. (5) For instance, I can express my anger with a single staring emoji to my friend who has offended me during the conversation. (6) One simple angry face can express my dissatisfaction, without writing out my feelings verbatim.
(7) If the sender doesn’t make his/her message clear, despite its simplicity of using, (8) a staring face can cause confusion and even misunderstanding for the receiver. (9) As mentioned earlier, my friend might not get the point of my taking his words personally but thinking that I am getting angry without a cause. Therefore, he might misunderstand my message and misjudge me as bad-tempered. (10) To avoid miscommunication, I would clarify my intended message by adding short sentences to explain that I don’t appreciate his choice of words. (11) With a brief explanation, an emoji can be an effective auxiliary means of communication for online conversations.
改寫練習版本
People (1*) tend to use emojis (2*) when using internet chat rooms. (3*) The advantage is their simplicity of expression. (4*) They can express emotions when a text message cannot. (5*) If I feel angry at my friend for saying something rude, I can simply send a staring face to express my anger. (6*) A single steaming face is enough to let my friend know that I am angry, without writing down every word about my feelings.
(7*) Even though emojis are useful for expressing emotions, (8*) they can be confusing for my friend sometimes. (9*) I remember one time that he mistook this angry face for being annoyed, so he was offended and accusing me of being rude to him. (10*) That was the moment I realized that I had to clarify my intended message in clear sentences. (11*) Therefore, one has to give every emoji a brief explanation to avoid miscommunication. If this is done properly, it is convenient to use emojis when having online conversations. (157字，不含標示)
解釋：
(1)-(1*)
(1). [to] prefer emojis to verbal expressions
Prefer:
(a). (VT) prefer A to B; e.g. I prefer boba tea to black tea
(b). (+V-ing) I prefer watching baseball to playing it
(c). (VI: +to V) I prefer not to go there myself.
(d). I prefer you not to yell in the corridor.
→
(1*). [to] tend to use emojis
Tend to+ V 傾向於
(2)-(2*)
(2) in terms of internet communication
In terms of: 就正在討論的(of後面的)主題而言
E.g. In terms of money, I got better paid in my last job.
E.g. In financial terms, the project was a total failure.
→
(2*) when using internet chat rooms
[. . .] when [people were] using internet chat rooms→同主詞省略→ when using . . .
Internet 名詞可當作補語(complement)，或謂詞(predicate)；此時放在另一個名詞組前(chat rooms)，可以發揮「形容詞」的文法功能──亦即謂詞的功能。
(3)-(3*)
(3) . . . for their simplicity of expression
→【將同一句話拆成兩句】
(3*) The advantage is . . .
(4)-(4*)
(4) They can convey a message without texting the entire thing out
→
(4*) They can express emotions when a text message cannot.
【以標記改寫對應的原詞組】改寫的句子直接將「表達情緒」(to express emotions)寫出來。原句則是留做”For instance”的補充句子才出現。考生可以自己斟酌，看自己習慣怎麼安排順序。
(5)-(5*)
(5) For instance, I can express my anger with a single staring emoji to my friend who has offended me during the conversation.
舉例事件，用”For instance/example, . . .”開頭。
關代限定用法【就是指這個人，who後面所描述的該人特徵，即是「限定此人，」因此是限定用法】my friend who has offended me during the conversation.
→
(5*) If I feel angry at my friend for saying something rude, I can simply send a staring face to express my anger.
To express my anger with a single staring emoji 可以改寫成：
To send a staring face to express my anger
將關代子句改寫成條件子句if: if I feel angry at my friend for saying something rude.
(6)-(6*)
(6) One simple angry face can express my dissatisfaction, without writing out my feelings verbatim.
Dissatisfaction: 不滿意。
Verbatim (adv.) 逐字逐句。
→
(6*) A single steaming face is enough to let my friend know that I am angry, without writing down every word about my feelings.
Steaming: 冒蒸氣的。E.g. Someone is steaming 這人非常生氣，氣到頭上都冒蒸氣。
My dissatisfaction→ “to let my friend know that I am angry” 用that I am angry代換dissatisfaction
Verbatim→ “every word about my feelings”
(7)-(7*)
(7) If the sender doesn’t make his/her message clear, despite its simplicity of using,
The message is not clear, despite its [an emoji’s] simplicity of using
(a). Despite + 名詞【縱使這件事】
(b). Despite + that . . . 【這件事（句子）】E.g. Despite that he was injured, he still persevered and finished the game.
→
(7*) Even though emojis are useful for expressing emotions,
Its simplicity of using→ “Emojis are useful” 簡單化表達；用Even though縱使改寫句子。
(8)-(8*)
(8) a staring face can cause confusion and even misunderstanding for the receiver.
→
(8*) they can be confusing for my friend sometimes.
The receiver跟my friend有相同的指涉，可以抽換詞面。
A staring face can cause confusion→ A staring face is confusing
(9)-(9*)
(9) As mentioned earlier, my friend might not get the point of my taking his words personally but thinking that I am getting angry without a cause. Therefore, he might misunderstand my message and misjudge me as bad-tempered.
→
(9*) I remember one time that he mistook this angry face for being annoyed, so he was offended and accusing me of being rude to him.
I remember one time that . . . 將事件透過回憶的形式描述出來
Getting angry without a cause→ “being annoyed”
Misjudge me→ “accusing me of being rude to him” 後者的改寫稍微轉換語意：置換成「他誤以為我冒犯他、對他不禮貌。」視考試時間，斟酌改寫。
(10)-(10*)
(10) To avoid miscommunication, I would clarify my intended message by adding short sentences to explain that I don’t appreciate his choice of words.
To+ V：表達為了達成做某事的目的。
Appreciate
(a). (VT+ N) 很感激有……E.g. I appreciate his help. Or, I appreciate that.
(b). (negative) I don’t appreciate that 意思是「我很『不同意』他這樣，」換句話說，我不喜歡”I don’t like it.”
→
(10*) That was the moment I realized that I had to clarify my intended message in clear sentences.
To clarify [. . .] by adding short sentences to explain that . . .
→改寫成 ”in clear sentences” 【只是把to explain that 後面的字句簡化成”in clear sentences”
(11)-(11*)
(11) With a brief explanation, an emoji can be an effective auxiliary means of communication for online conversations.
With + 名詞, 後面加子句
附加上「這個條件，」逗號後面句子「得以成立。」
E.g. With his help, I could finish my work in such a short period of time.
An effective auxiliary (輔助的) means (工具／媒介；複數形 media)
Means of communication 溝通工具／媒介
→
(11*) Therefore, one has to give every emoji a brief explanation to avoid miscommunication. If this is done properly, it is convenient to use emojis when having online conversations.
With . . ., → to give [. . .] a brief explanation to avoid miscommunication
將前面的”to avoid miscommunication”寫在後面，來補述”to give [. . .] a brief explanation
虛主詞是很好用的句型，用以聚焦「句子中的重點資訊」
E.g. It is convenient to travel by metro in big cities.
E.g. It is the metro that makes travelling convenient in big cities.
E.g. It is in big cities that is convenient to travel by metro.
E.g. it is by metro that is convenient to travel in big cities [to navigate the big cities.
小結
本文的功能在於「協助考生改寫練習。」
寫作練習不一定要從零開始；找到適合的範本，進行適當的改寫，也能幫助自己提升寫作能力。
