很久很久以前
我還是一位小年輕
懷揣著夢想，希冀自己可以成為公司的
頂梁柱
成為最有價值的搖錢樹就像籃球界的MVP那樣
The Boss Wants to See You
Once upon a time,
Back when I was still young and full of dreams,
I hoped to become the backbone of the company—
The MVP, the money-making machine,
The golden child everyone relied on,
Like the LeBron James of cram schools.
Ah, memories...
It was summer.
Cicadas were buzzing in the trees,
And I was wandering under the shade,
Zoning out on the sidewalk like I always did.
After my daily dose of daydreaming, it was time to clock in.
I walked into the office,
And the receptionist said,
“The boss wants to see you in a meeting.”
What?!
I glanced out the big glass window—blue skies, not a cloud in sight.
“Seriously? It's such a nice day, and I'm about to get chewed out? Just my luck.”
I asked the receptionist, “Do you know what this is about?”
She replied, “Something about your trial lesson conversion rate last month.”
Of course she knew. Admins always know everything.
If there's gossip to be had in the company, they're the first to hear it.
I pulled out my own trial lesson record to check.
Last month the cram school only gave me three students.
Two of them signed up and paid.
Good thing this isn't my only job—
If I only got three trial students a month, I'd starve.
I thought about it.
Two out of three. That's a 66% success rate. Not bad.
Or does the boss expect 3 out of 3?
Knowing him, that's probably it.
Yup, definitely about to get told off.
He'll want me to push it to 100%.
Fine.
All I could do was look at him with sincerity and say,
“Boss, in dreams, anything is possible.”
So with a head full of guesses,
I walked into the meeting room.
There he was, same as always.
Started with some small talk,
Asked how I was doing,
What I thought of the company.
Then slowly, we got to the real reason:
“I heard from the director that your conversion rate last month wasn't great.”
So that's who tattled.
All because I turned down a lunch invite?
Seriously?
I'm not big on socializing.
I don't really like eating with other people.
Eating should just be eating—why does it have to involve chatting?
So tiring.
Maybe now they think I'm antisocial?
But come on, I'm just a normal teacher bouncing between cram schools.
Do I really have to be a social butterfly too?
As long as my teaching is solid and students like me, isn't that enough?
Can we not make this harder than it already is?
“I had three trial students last month, and two of them signed up. That's about 66%. So… are you saying I need 100% to be considered acceptable?” I asked.
The boss ignored my question and instead said,
“Do you know what the pass rate is for public school teacher exams?”
“Nope.”
“Take a guess,” he said while sipping tea.
眾生平等──你們都是我的賺錢工具
“Two percent?” I replied, staring straight at him.
“You know most school teachers these days have master's or PhDs, right?”
“I haven't really looked into it,” I said, already feeling a little irritated.
In my head, I was thinking:
So the reason you keep making us take written and oral tests is because you think we're not good enough? That we're not as “qualified” as those public school teachers?
Honestly, the pressure is insane.
It's not students who are the most stressed these days—it's us teachers!
And people are usually pretty understanding with students,
But with rookie teachers?
Yeah… not so much.
Good thing I've got thick skin,
Otherwise I'd have been scolded into silence by now.
“With so many school teachers having advanced degrees, what advantage do you think you bring to the table?” he asked.
At that moment, I felt a kind of cold, equalizing judgment.
Maybe this is what capitalism really is—
Doesn't matter your race, age, or gender,
Everyone gets reduced to numbers.
In his eyes, maybe it goes like this:
Average person: 5 points.
Bachelor's degree in education: 10.
Master's: 20.
Passed the national teacher exam: 30.
PhD: 40.
I was annoyed, but I still gave the question serious thought.
“As cram school teachers, we have to handle students from multiple grade levels and different textbooks. We deal with a wide range of situations, so maybe our strength is in lesson prep and adaptability.”
He nodded, then added,
“You know I spend hundreds of thousands on ads every month, right?”
“No, I didn't,” I replied.
“Students don't show up for trial lessons because of you. They come because I invest heavily in advertising.”
I raised an eyebrow.
What are you trying to say here?
That I should thank you for advertising?
But isn't this just a basic work-for-pay setup?
You need teachers.
I need a paycheck.
Simple as that.
Then he went on and on with more corporate talk—
Basically telling me I wasn't good enough,
That I deserved minimum wage,
That I should be grateful for the opportunity,
And that I needed to help him earn more money.
He wanted me to step up my game,
Get my conversion rate up to 80% or higher.
After all that criticism,
Yeah, I was a little rattled.
When I got home, I turned to my sweetheart and asked,
“What should I do?”
Thankfully, after chatting with 163,
Everything made sense.
My sweetheart really is...
My guiding light.
憶往昔
話說，那是某年的夏天
我走在樹下還有蟬 在鳴叫
我那時常常會待在有樹蔭的走道上發呆
發完呆，該上班了
我走進公司
前台跟我說
「老闆叫你開會」
蝦米
我往落地窗外看，看了一會天空，一片晴朗
我心裡想：「今天天氣這麼好，就要挨罵唷，真衰！」
我問了問櫃台人員：「你知道老闆找我有什麼事情嗎？」
「好像要跟你討論你上個月的試聽率吧？」
果然行政人員就是消息靈通
公司內部有啥八卦，就得先問他
我掏出我的試聽表，看了一下我上個月的試聽率
這間補習班上個月也就排了三個學生給我試聽，兩個學生已經排課繳錢
啊不就還好我不只在這裡上班，否則一個月才排三個學生給我試聽，我豈不是餓死 (而且還沒有試聽率獎金)
我想了一下我的試聽率，感覺也還行2/3，應該也有66%，難不成老闆是要3/3 (三個學生試聽，三個都要繳錢)
我想了想
根據我們老闆的性格，我大概又要挨訓，叫我要想辦法試聽率要達到百分之百
行吧
我這時候只好很真誠的跟他說
「老闆，夢裡什麼都有！」
總之，我抱著一堆猜測
走進了會議室
老闆坐在位置上，老樣子
先跟我寒暄
關心部屬
問我最近過得如何
覺得公司怎麼樣
慢慢地
進入了正題
「我聽主任說你上個月的試聽率不太行。」
我......
原來是主任打的小報告
不就是拒絕一起吃午餐的邀約
有必要這樣嗎？
我不太喜歡交際，也不太喜歡跟人一起吃飯
吃飯就吃飯，幹嘛還要聊天
很煩ㄟ
沒聽說過：「食不言，寢不語嗎？」
該不會因此認為我不合群吧？
我也就一個到處跑的跑班老師，有必要這麼合群嗎？
總之我技術過硬、口碑好，這樣就行了吧，你可以不要 要求那麼多嗎？
「我上個月有三個試聽生，兩個排課，試聽率大概66%，所以老闆你是要100%才算合格嗎？」我問道
我老闆沒有回答我這個問題
他跟我說
「你知道教甄考試通過率大概多少嗎？」
「我不知道。」
「你猜猜？」老闆喝了口茶一邊說道
「我猜2%吧？」我盯著他的眼睛答道
「你知道現在學校老師很多學歷都是碩士、博士嗎？」老闆又說
「我沒有關心這方面的訊息。」我看著他說道，心中已經有點躁動
我心裡猜測，原來公司天天給我們筆試、口試，
是因為你看不起我們這些大學本科系畢業生？
覺得我們不如人家 厲害？
覺得我們菜
菜就要多練是吧？
話說，考試壓力真的爆炸高
這年頭，學生的考試壓力不是最高的，老師這個職業才是吧！
啊不就我心臟比較大顆，否則我都要被訓斥到自閉了
「現在學校老師學歷那麼高，你只有大學畢業，你有什麼優勢呢？」老闆又問
那時候，我感受到了一種冰冷的平等
或許這就是資本主義？
不論種族、年齡、性別，把每個人用價值做評判
可能在老闆眼中，普通人價值5，本科系學士畢業價值10，碩士學歷價值20，有過教甄的價值30，博士價值40？
雖然我有點不愉快，但我還是老老實實的思考這個問題，並回答
「補習班老師得要應對不同年級的學生、不同版本，所以我們備課範圍很大，遇到的狀況也很多。或許在教材準備上有優勢。」
老闆點點頭，又說道
「你知道我一個月要花數十萬在廣告費上嗎？」
「不知道」我答道
「客戶來試聽，跟你沒關係，是因為我廣告費付的多。」
我挑了挑眉毛，想說你到底想要跟我說什麼？
是想要我感謝你花那麼多廣告費嗎？
但我們間只是單純的僱傭關係
你需要老師幫你上課，我也需要薪水
僅此而已
後來
後來老闆又繼續PUA了我一堆
簡而言之就是他覺得 我當初的能力，只配領低薪(比勞基法最低工資高一點的薪水)
所以他覺得給我的薪水算是很合理
他每個月花了大價錢打廣告，我要感激他給我機會
然後，我要想辦法幫他多賺點錢
他要我想辦法把能力拉上來
讓試聽率到八成以上
真的，我很想跟老闆說 「絕學無憂」(好像是老子的思想?)
老闆可能是統治者思想
大臣(員工)不努力，我怎麼開跑車、住豪宅？
被他嫌棄了一頓
我其實也有點小慌
回家我就問我家寶貝 怎麼辦？
還好，我問完163
就想通了
我家寶貝真的是
指路明燈
P.S. 我有空的話，再打一篇我家寶貝和我的對話。真的和163聊完，我被老闆PUA完恐慌的心情就不見了
備註：我有用AI修改英文用字
