When I wrote my first book, 14 imprints wanted me to change the name. They said, “No one wanted to Think Like a Monk.”
當我寫第一本書時，有14家出版社想要我改書名。他們說，「沒有人想要學習怎麼『像和尚一樣思考』。」
And now as I stand here in front of you today at Princeton, one of the most prestigious institutions in the world — I still catch myself wondering…
而現在，當我站在普林斯頓這座世界最知名的學府面前時——我還是會忍不住想：
What are you going to think of this speech?
「你們會怎麼看這場演講？」
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In 1902, Charles Horton Cooley wrote, “I am not what I think I am, I am not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am,” which means we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. Let me break that down even more.
1902年，社會學家Charles Horton Cooley寫下這句話：「我不是我自己以為的樣子，也不是你以為的樣子，而是我以為你以為的樣子。」
What it means is if I think you think I’m smart, then I feel smart, but if I think you think I’m weak, well, I feel weak.
這句話的意思是：如果我覺得你覺得我很聰明，那我就感覺很聰明；但如果我覺得你覺得我很弱，那我就感覺很弱。
This is the trap. And the world lures us in.
這就是陷阱。世界不停地把我們拖進這種陷阱。
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The world will constantly push you to perform success.
這個世界不斷要你表演「成功」。
But if there’s one message I want you to walk away with today — it’s this: You have to disappear.
但如果今天我只能給你一個訊息，那就是：你必須學會「消失」。
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Disappearing means doing the work. It means doing the work in the dark.
「消失」的意思是去做真正的工作。在暗處努力。
It means building in private what you don’t need to prove in public. It means doing the work when no one’s watching.
在不需要向大眾證明什麼時，打造屬於自己的東西。在沒有別人看見的時候努力。
You stop worrying about what people think and start valuing what you believe.
不要再在意別人怎麼看，而要開始重視你真正相信的價值。
Because a life that looks good, or sounds good is nothing compared to a life that feels good.
因為一個「看起來好」或「聽起來好」的人生，遠遠比不上「感覺好」的人生。
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So, how do you disappear in a world obsessed with being seen?
那麼，怎麼在這個渴望被看到的世界學會「消失」呢？
Remember this ancient story: A young student once asked the Buddha, “What do you gain from meditation?” The Buddha replied, “Nothing.” The student looked confused and said, “Then why do you meditate?”
請記住這個古老的故事：一個年輕的學生問佛陀：「冥想能讓我得到什麼？」佛陀回答：「什麼也得不到。」學生聽了滿臉疑惑，問：「那你為什麼要冥想？」
The Buddha said: “I don’t meditate because of what I gain. I meditate because of what I lose. I lose anxiety, insecurity, doubt and fear.”
佛陀回答：「我冥想不是為了得到什麼，而是為了失去什麼。失去焦慮、失去不安、失去懷疑、失去恐懼。」
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I know you will be ambitious about what you want to gain. But I hope you will be just as ambitious about what you want to lose. Lose the need for approval. Lose the obsession with comparison. Lose the fear of not being enough.
我知道你會對未來想要得到的東西充滿雄心。但我希望，你同樣也能對「你想要失去的東西」充滿雄心。失去對認可的需求。失去和別人比較的執著。失去「我不夠好」的恐懼。
What we gain makes us successful, but what we lose makes us fulfilled.
得到的東西讓我們成功，但我們失去的東西，讓我們更完整。
Especially lose envy. Envy doesn’t tell you what you want — it distracts you from what you already have. Envy will make you lose good friends and find bad ones.
尤其是「嫉妒」。嫉妒不會告訴你真正想要什麼——它只會讓你忘記自己已經擁有什麼。嫉妒會讓你失去好朋友，也會幫你找到壞朋友。
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There’s this beautiful word in Sanskrit that I love, it’s called mudita. It means to take joy and pride in watching someone else’s success. I hope that you’ll practice this with the people you’re sitting next to right now.
我最喜歡的梵文單字之一叫「Mudita」，意思是：在別人的成功中感到喜悅與驕傲。我希望你們能把這個詞，應用在今天坐在你身邊的同學身上。
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There are four decisions you’ll make in life that matter more than almost any other. Ask for guidance, sure. Get advice. Learn from people you trust.
在人生中，你將會做出四個最重要的決定。當然要請教別人、請益專家、向信任的人學習。
But don’t let these decisions be defined by other people’s opinions.
但別讓這些決定，完全被別人的看法所定義。
Because at the end of the day — you’re the one who has to live with them.
因為最後，真正要活在這些選擇裡的人——是你自己。
1. The first decision is one you’ll make every single day. The first decision you’ll have to make is how you feel about yourself. It’s not a decision you’ll make once — it’s a decision you’ll make every single day.
第一個決定，是你每天都要做的決定：那就是「你如何看待自己」。這不是一次性的決定，而是每天都要做的選擇。
2. The second decision is this: who you choose to love—and who you choose to love you.
第二個決定是：你選擇去愛誰，以及選擇讓誰愛你。
Don’t fall in love too fast. You don’t truly know someone until you’ve seen them when they’re tired, stressed, broke, or hungry. The right person will make the hard times easier.
不要太快愛上任何人。你永遠不會真正了解一個人，除非你看過他在疲憊、壓力、破產或飢餓的時候。對的人會讓艱難的時刻變得更容易。
And don’t forget about your parents. The American Time Use Survey says that by the time you turn 21, you’ve likely already spent about 90% of the total in-person time you’ll ever have with your parents. Interview your parents. Record their stories. Learn every lesson you possibly can from them. You can earn more money, more titles, more goals — but you’ll never earn back lost time with your parents.
還有，別忘了父母。美國時間使用調查（American Time Use Survey）指出，當你21歲的時候，你大概已經用掉和父母相處時間的90%。多訪問父母，記錄他們的故事，從他們那裡學到每一課。你可以賺到更多錢、更多頭銜、更多成就——但你永遠賺不回和父母相處的時間。
3. The third decision is what you do for a living. Try to do what you love.
第三個決定是：你將從事什麼工作。試著去做你熱愛的事情。
And if you can’t — find meaning in what you do.
如果無法做到，那就從中找到意義。
4. The fourth decision — and maybe the most important — is how you’ll serve humanity.
第四個決定——也許是最重要的——是：你打算如何服務人類。
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I want to end with a couple of practical things you can do to put this into practice:
我想以一些實用的建議來作結，幫助你真正落實：
First, try this: For one full day, track every time you feel the urge to ask someone what they think. About what you’re wearing, what to eat for dinner, what TV show to watch, what job to apply for. Write it all down. Who you wanted to ask. What decision you were avoiding. What answer you were hoping for.
首先，試試這個練習：用一整天的時間，記錄每次你忍不住想問別人意見的時候。無論是關於穿著、晚餐吃什麼、該看哪部電視劇、該應徵哪個工作。全部寫下來：你想問誰、你在逃避什麼決定、你期待什麼答案。
And then… for 7 days, go on an opinion fast. No asking. No polling the group chat. No crowdsourcing your direction.
然後……連續 7 天，進行「意見禁食」。不問問題、不徵求建議、不群組投票。
It’s your life — don’t let anyone else hold the remote.
這是你的人生——別讓別人拿著遙控器。
Disappear for a while. And when you come back, come back as you.
消失一段時間。當你回來時，要回來成為真實的自己。
Every day, starting tomorrow, write down one thing you did that required effort — even if no one saw it.
從明天開始，每天寫下一件需要付出努力的事——即使沒有人看到。
Not what you achieved. Not what got praise. Just what took energy, courage, or discipline.
不是你完成了什麼成就，也不是什麼受到讚賞的事。而是那些需要付出勇氣、紀律或能量的事。
Because when you start measuring your day by effort, not recognition, you begin to feel accomplished — without needing to be noticed.
因為當你開始用努力來衡量每一天，而不是依靠別人的肯定，你就會開始感覺到自己的成就——不需要被看見也沒關係。
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Class of 2025, you’ll have an idea people roll their eyes at — build it anyway.
你會有一個讓別人翻白眼的點子——還是去做吧。
You’ll want a job no one thinks you’ll get — apply anyway.
你會想爭取一份沒有人看好你能得到的工作——還是去應徵吧。
You’ll dream of a path that doesn’t come with a title or salary — take it anyway.
你會夢想一條沒有頭銜或薪水的道路——還是去走吧。
You’ll feel like an imposter in rooms you’ve earned your way into — walk in anyway.
你會覺得自己是闖進來的門外漢——還是進去吧。
You’ll be the least experienced person at the table — speak anyway.
你會發現自己是桌上最沒經驗的人——還是開口說話吧。
You’ll mess up, fall short, and second-guess everything — learn anyway.
你會犯錯、失敗、懷疑一切——還是學下去吧。
You’ll wonder if it’s worth it sometimes — keep going anyway.
你有時候會懷疑這一切是否值得——還是繼續前行吧。
Because if you do what you want, they’ll misunderstand you.
因為如果你做你想做的，他們會誤解你。
If you do what they want, they’ll misunderstand you.
如果你做他們要你做的，他們也會誤解你。
If you do nothing, they’ll misunderstand you.
如果你什麼都不做，他們還是會誤解你。
And if you do something, they’ll misunderstand you.
如果你做點什麼，他們依然會誤解你。
So live a life that would make your younger self proud, your older self grateful, even if it confuses everyone in between.
所以，去過一個能讓年輕的你驕傲、讓未來的你感激的人生，即使這會讓中間的所有人都感到困惑。
