活出自我(中英文)

不知道這是身為華人家庭的驕傲或者是悲哀？根據聯合國最新估計，截止目前世界人口已達75億。中國以14億居第一。而在一些優秀的好家庭中，小孩子從小在學校就是聽從老師教導、在家就是父母說的對。事業是這樣，父母期待他們的小孩子在乎只是學校成績，考第幾名? 希望他要優秀，這樣將來才會有成就。而從來不問過小孩子從小想成為什麼? 難道只有成為一名醫師才讓你感到驕傲嗎?在婚姻上，大部分父母主導甚至參與小孩子這輩子的幸福。你要把自己的一輩子的幸福建立在父母期盼上嗎?交在父母的手上嗎?當一輩子的媽寶嗎？是因為害怕失敗或者感恩父母。或者自己決定，但你自己準備好了嗎？我告訴自己的會員們，不管誰決定你的婚姻，最後成敗都是你自己承擔。最近看了一齣中國愛情戲”許你浮生若夢”因為兩個家庭背景相當，所以父母也要他們的下一代結婚，但下一代的子女並不相愛。男生父親是警察局長所以也命令他的小孩也接他的事業，但他兒子卻想成為一名醫師，而愛上了一個氣質非凡的國劇女子，但國劇女子師傅從小培養她，一直反對她愛上那個想成為醫師的男生，一直告訴她，她做錯事，因為她師傅私下要偷偷把自己兒子娶她” 你怎麼想呢? 怎樣的你想過這一生? 難道你不知道在法律超過18歲了，長大了！人生就是這樣，你若對它微笑，它會還你一個春光燦爛，你若對它抱有負面情緒，那麼它也會毫不留情給你無止境苦難，讓迷失自己的你找不到歸途。掌握”春天”是自己。上天給我們在人生的功課。

當我到了我認識的一個美國家庭，他們大部分就以民主態度對待教育自己的小孩。從小就尊重小孩子的決定，尊重小孩子的想法表達。但是也培養小孩子必須小孩子要為自己的決定負責任。我們是人類，人是有靈魂的，有靈魂就該擁有自由的。有一天我問我的美國家庭媽媽，我可以帶她三歲孫女出去玩嗎?她說”就讓Jannet決定要不要跟你去”

一個人若想學會滑冰，那麼他一定要做好在冰上摔跤的準備。

一個人想實現自我的夢想，不管在她的事業夢想或婚姻夢想，不在於多大或多小。而在於你是否努力地去超越自我實現自我，心中有夢並付諸行動，喊出自己的聲音，走出自己的道路，綻放自己的精彩。

要知道，每一隻漂亮的蝴蝶，都是自己衝破束縛它的繭之後才變成的，願每一個你都能活出自己喜歡的樣子。

最後上帝說” 我們行善不可喪志，因為若不灰心，到了適當的時候就有收成。 加拉太書 6:9

April Yang

Translation by Andy Hogan

Living As Myself

I don’t know, is it pride or sadness that I’m from a Chinese family? According to new estimates from the UN, the world has a population of 7.5 billion people; 1.4 of whom are Chinese. There are more Chinese in the world than any other ethnicity. To be considered a good, or excellent Chinese family, the children are obedient in their schooling and submissive to their parents. The same obedience is true for careers as well. As students, the parents main concern is for the child to earn excellent grades, and to place high in their testing scores. Parents believe this is the only way for their child to find success in their futures. The parents never stop to think about, or to ask their children what they want to become. Is your child becoming a doctor the only thing that will make you proud of her or him? In marriage, parents also want to have control of how their child seeks happiness. Do you want to build your happiness on the expectations of your parents? Do you want to place everything in the hands of your parents? Do you want to be a mama’s child forever? Do you want to live in fear of disappointing or gratifying them? Or do you want to make your own decisions?

Are you ready for this? I’d like to tell all the group members, it doesn’t matter how your marriage is decided. In the end, success or failure is your responsibility. Recently, I watched a Chinese love story called, “Granting A Dreamlike Life.” There were two families with similar backgrounds, and so the parents wanted their children to marry each other. However, that generation of children didn’t have feelings of love for each other. The father was the police chief and he commanded that his son grow up to take his position. The police chief’s son, however, wanted to become a doctor. The son fell in love with an exceptionally gifted female student of Chinese National Drama. The girl’s teacher, who had raised her from childhood, did not want her to be with the boy who wanted to become a doctor. The teacher constantly told the girl she was making a big mistake. In actuality, the teacher had a son that he secretly wanted to marry the girl. What do you think about that? What kind of a life do you think that is? Don’t you know that according to the law, someone who is older than 18 is an adult! That’s life; if you offer a smile, it will give you a brilliant springtime in return. If you offer negative emotions, life will return merciless, and lasting hardships that give you, the one who has lost self, nowhere to return. Grabbing that brilliant springtime means being my authentic self. God has given us life that teaches these lessons.

When I stayed with an American family that I met, they treated their children like other citizens of the democratic society. They respected the decisions of their children. They allowed their children to speak their opinions. But they also held their children responsible for the decisions they made. We are all humans with souls. Those with souls should possess freedom. Once I asked my American family mother, who was a grandmother, if I could take her three-year-old granddaughter out to play. She answered, “Let Jannet (the granddaughter) decide if she wants to go out with you.”

If a person wants to learn how to ice skate, that person has to be prepared to fall on the ice. If a person wants to make dreams happen, whether it’s dreams in a career, or dreams in a marriage, whether they are big or small, what matters is the effort you put forth to make a better you. When you have a dream in your heart, you have to take action to make it happen. You have to make a voice for yourself, walk your own road, and shine forth your own brilliance. Remember, every beautiful butterfly had to first, break free from its own cocoon. My wish is that all of you can live the way that makes you happy. In conclusion, God said, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Galatians 6:9

April Yang