試譯一篇有趣的網路文章

一個父親經過兒子的房間時，看到房間竟然異於平常地乾淨，帎頭上還顯眼地直放著一個信封。

信封上寫著：「爸爸」帶著最糟的預感，男子用顫抖的雙手打開信封讀著信。

「親愛的父親大人，我是帶著極大的懺悔和悲傷寫這封信，我必須和我的女朋友私奔，才能避開你和媽媽。

我瘋狂愛上了史黛西，她是如此的美好，但你們可能因為她有穿環、刺青和緊身重機服裝，年紀比我大，而不同意我和她交往。

我對她不只是有激情而已，爸爸，她懷孕了，她說我們會很幸福，她在樹林裡有輛拖車，有充足可以過冬的木柴，我們還打算擁有各多小孩。

史黛西打開我的眼界，看清大麻對人們是沒有傷害的，我們打算自己種，再跟其他人，交易我們所需要的古柯鹼和快樂丸。

同時，祈禱科學家早日發現愛滋病的治療方法，讓她可以好過一些，這是她應得的。

爸爸，我已經15歲了，我知道如何照顧自己，有一天我會回來看你，讓你知道你多了好多孫子。

愛你的兒子 喬許

PS 以上所言都不是真的，我在傑森家過夜，我只是要提醒你，世界上有很多遠比廚房桌上成績單更糟糕的事，當家裡變安全時，才打電話叫我回家。」

A father passing by his son's bedroom

Noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, as 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that mari*juana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Josh

P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home