#3 a.m. in the morning
"Do you think you can make it?"
No, I can't. So that's the problem.(start sobbing)"Awww...Why?"
You remember I've told you I have biopolar disorder? I am now in the period of severe depressoin. So that is also the reason why I can not fall asleep.
I sleep about two or three hours a day for about two or three weeks. I can't sleep well, I do not want to eat. Every single night, I just crying, crying, crying with no reason and I am painful. Quite.
I don't think I can make it this time. I mean, why should I make it to go through? Since there will be the next strike after I make it this time?
I feel helpless and I am afraid of telling this, showing this, crying and breakdown in front of my loved one. They love me.
They care. So that's why. I am afraided.
"You know, you are a warrior, a good friend, an important person to me. So is it is to your other friend. We care about you. We want you to be happy.
you are a nice daughter, a good woman, a nice girl. Where is that curious girl who showing interesting to all the unknown, new place and no fearful to the unfamiliar one? I remember her. She is you.
She bring happiness to the place she is arounded. "
" You should live for them, the people, they care. No, that is not what I meant. You shall always live for yourself.
It is your game, your challenge."
"Remembered all the bad thing and persons we talked before? They sucks. But it is through this process, we know the bad side about a thing and move on to the new one."
"Life will be boring if we can foresee thee future. I mean, if you already know the person is bad you will not want to get close to him...Ugh, forget about that, not a good instance."
"A cuddle from your friend May. I really want to hug you.
If I visit Taiwan, or if you visit the U.S.A, to my hometown Mexico and to Telexcala, I will make you happy, feel like home. I will bring you to my parents and sibling and offer you place to live to eat to sleep."
"I want you happy, May."
It's so warming. Really. And it helps a lot. Thank you.
Adolfo, My beloved friend, thousands thanks to you and them will be not enough to show my appreciation. Your words like a sky full of stars, they give me hope.
I want to live for the one who do care me but not the one harm me. Friends, like you, they support me to go through.
I have to. I must have to.
Pamela's wedding, and Fifi's wedding. I must have take participate in them.
謝謝小安，謝謝阿辣，謝謝Zhe.，謝謝樂信立委頹廢77，謝謝秋，謝謝NN，謝謝斯斯87654321龜龜520，謝謝台中，謝謝小言，謝謝所有甜甜的朋朋，謝謝愛德華。
現在是我要扛關卡的時候，謝謝你們，當我的靠山。
