Podcast｜自信是你最好的武裝 Six pillars of self-esteem

For example, we may change something about ourselves on the outside, maybe you change your job, a relationship, make you feel good about yourself, but only last for a short time.

我們可以用外力來改變自己，例如換一份工作、改善一段關係，但這些改變都持續不了多久。

Self-esteem and confidence can’t be changed from the outside, self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-worth comes from the inside, and what are you think about yourself.

自尊和自信不是由外改變的，無論是自尊、自我意識還是自我價值都應該來自於你的內在，和你如何看待自己。

Today we’re going to talk about six pillars of self-esteem, now you can better your mental well-being:

我們提出六點來談論如何培養自信心，並藉此建立正確的心態：

Living consciously is also understanding yourself knowing the importance of self-awareness, and understanding your weakness and elimination.

有意識的生活能夠幫助你認知到擁有自我意識的重要性，並且了解自己的缺點。

Are we just going along with what’s happening around us, do you think that I should go along with it, and have no choice or be scared of that choice because we’re afraid of conscious of that choice?

我們是不是總是在隨波逐流，全盤接受發生在生活週遭的事，你覺得一切都是命，或者你只是在害怕你選擇背後所代表的那層意識？

Living consciously were in control of our thought and feeling, we had the power and choice of our own experiences of how we think and experience things.

有意識地生活讓我們能掌握自己的思考和感受，其實我們是有能力去選擇如何體驗生活、如何思考的。

Learning to accept yourself and who you are, higher self-esteem is possible without it, some acceptance is accepting your thought, desire, and needs, and saying that I am who I am right now.

沒有足夠的自信心，是沒辦法學會接納自我和認識自我的，要學會接受你自己的想法、慾望和需求，並且能夠大聲說出：「我就是我。」

It means that you don’t have to shame yourself, for having the thought you have, it’s not easy to accept yourself, we have been taught to believe we are not good enough, our experience has told us that we need to be smarter, prettier and successful.

你不用為了自己的想法而感到羞愧，因為接受自己從來就不是一件容易的事，我們一直以來接受的教育都在告訴大家：「你還不夠好。」，過來人的經驗讓我們覺得應該要變的比現在更聰明、更漂亮，更成功。

Self-acceptance is accepting who you are right now, whether is good or bad, right or wrong, we all have things for working on, and it’s our natural way of being human is not feeling good enough, we have learned, and grow and be ourself.

自我接納就是接受現在的你，無論是是好或壞、是對或錯，每個人都有不足之處，而人性使然，你永遠都會覺得自己不夠好，所以我們要做的就是繼續學習、成長和做自己。

Self- responsibility is taking charge of our own healing, breaking free of our own pain because no one does it for us, we don’t have to fake being positive or ignore bad things, we have to keep moving forward take responsibility make things happen, instead of pass of waiting for something goods to happen.

對自己負責是要你面對自己的困難，並克服它，因為這是你自己要面對的課題。我們不用強顏歡笑或否定那些壞事，只需要繼續前進，而不是站在原地等待幸運降臨。

Many people who have trouble speaking up and asserting themselves and saying what they feel, they worry about offending someone or hurting their feelings and wearing people won’t like them, ring people will think they’re a difficult person or stupid or something else, but we don’t speak up we suffer in silence or feel trapped and frustrated.

那些無法開口表達、無法堅定自己的立場和難以說出自身感受的人，通常都是在擔心會冒犯或傷害他人，害怕被討厭，害怕別人會覺得他們笨或難相處，所以他們通常會把挫折和委屈默默往肚裡吞，大部分不會說出自己的感受。

Once you understand your self-worth and self-esteem and use proven strategies and practice as you can see real progress.

但當你為自己裝備上自信，並且不斷練習自我表達，你就可以感受到自己正在慢慢變好。

Living life on purpose and intention is important because it means you’re not just going through the motions.

人一定要有目的地生活，因為這代表你不甘於循規蹈矩。

If I live life on purpose, I’m growing and constantly improving myself and having goals. My purposes change many times throughout my life, maybe your purpose is to help others who don’t have much as you, and maybe your purpose is to be a great parent to your children.

如果我有目的地活著，我會快速成長、持續進步和保有目標。人生目標可以換過很多次，也許你的目標是幫助和你同樣身處困境的人，也許你的目標是當一個好父母。

Doesn’t matter what your purpose is, if your purpose makes a difference in the world by making an impact that’s what matters. If you’re learning new skills and investing in yourself, you’re growing your self-esteem and making a positive difference in the world.

你的目標是什麼並不重要，最重要的是你的目標能讓這個世界變得更好。你在學習新知識的過程中不斷探索自己，就能增加自信心，一點一點對世界產生正面影響。

Doesn’t mean you have to be this morally righteous person who never makes mistakes. Personal integrity is more like being responsible for yourself and fulfilling the promises you make to yourself.

「嚴以律己」不是要你做一個毫無瑕疵的聖人。「自我承諾」更像是對要對你自己負責，來達成自我期許。

It’s like when you’re at work and you can leave early because no one is looking, we decide to stay and go the extra mile because of your personal integrity. Having personal integrity is walking to talk and doing what you say, for example, if you say you’re going to go to the gym every day or eat healthier, what happens? You don’t stick with it.

舉個例子來說好了，今天因為主管不在辦公室，所以根本沒人管你，你大可以選擇早退，但你卻因為責任心決定留下來加班。「自我承諾」代表你言出必行，例如你總是說要每天去健身房報到或開始執行健康飲食，最後會都怎麼樣了？ 你永遠都只有三分鐘熱度。

Having personal integrity doesn’t mean you’re on it 100% of the time, but it’s about making achievable, sustainable goals. Being able to keep your promises to ourselves leads to integrity, it’s almost like being in a relationship, doing or not doing things, we said we would do we’re breaking a promise to that other person and I damage a relationship by not keeping promises with ourselves, damages of relationships with ourselves. Taking responsibility keeping commitments, and keeping promises to ourselves it’s doable.

做一個會立下自我承諾的人，不代表你要100%準時達成那些目標，但重點是目標要既可達到又可持續。完成你給自己的承諾會幫助你成為一個有誠信的人，像談戀愛的時候那些你愛做不做的瑣碎小事，當我們答應了要做卻沒有去做，不只會破壞你的誠信，也會傷害一段關係。不遵守對自己的承諾就是破壞了與自己的關係。學會開始承擔責任，會發現遵守對自己的承諾是可行的。