當你可以控制你腦海中的想法
2022/01/21閱讀時間約 6 分鐘
當你可以控制你腦海中的想法，你就有能力幾乎達成任何目標。 - 吳姵瑩 諮商心理師。
讓我來嘗試翻譯國外諮商師的 IG 文字; sharing a therapist's Instagram post, @nedratawwab
- PRACTICE DOING THIS MORE OFTEN 多練習以下事情
Doing your best instead of trying to be perfect. 凡事盡你全力去做，而不用要求完美。
Asking people for permission before you offer feedback. "Would you like to hear my thoughts?" "你想聽聽我的想法嗎?" 在你嘗試回饋別人以前，先徵求別人的同意。
Meeting people where they are and deciding if you want to stay there with them or give them some space. 與人面對面見面，然後決定你要陪他們待在那裡，或給他們一些空間、讓他們靜一靜。
Accepting that you can't change people, but you can decide what you want to do in the relationship when they won't change. 接受你不能改變別人的事實，但你可以決定在這段他人拒絕改變的關係裡，你想怎麼做。
Taking breaks and resting as a preventative measure. 把休息和放慢腳步當作預防身心疲乏的方法。
Learning from your mistakes instead of making excuses about why you repeat them. 從錯誤中學習，而不是為自己為何重複犯這些錯誤找藉口。
Accepting feedback and using it as a way to grow. 接受別人的建議，把這個當作成長的機會。
2. It's hard to be honest when: 我們很難說出真心話...
- you fear you'll disappoint someone 當你害怕你會讓某個人失望
- you're told how to feel 當別人告訴你，你不能有自己的感覺
- it's seen as weak 當說出真心話被當作是一件懦弱的事
- there's a consequence 當說出來之後必須付出代價
- it could end a relationship 當說出來之後，可能會結束一段關係
- honesty won't change anything 當誠實以對並不會改變任何事
- the truth could hurt 當事實是傷人的
- you'll be judged 當你說之後會被批評
3. Life becomes peaceful when you accept: 當你接受這些事，生命就會變得平靜...
- That you can't help everyone. 你無法幫助所有人。
- That you can't save people from themselves. 除非別人想得救，否則你無法拯救他們。
- That sometimes, things don't happen for a reason. 有時候，不是所有發生的事，背後都有什麼原因。
- That you can be kind and gentle and some people will still see your boundaries as mean. 你設立界線的方式很溫柔、友善，但別人還是會覺得你這樣做很狠心。
- That some people will ask for advice, but still won't listen to you. 有些人會徵詢你的意見，但他們還是不會聽你的。
- That some people won't give you what you need. 有些人不會給你你需要的。
- That you have to be consistent with boundaries for people to take you seriously. 你必須堅持自己的界限，別人才會知道你是認真的。
- That some people won't like you no matter how much you try. 不管你多努力，有些人就是不喜歡你。
- That you can't reason with some people. 你就是無法同理某些人。
- That change can be complicated even when you know what to do. 儘管你都知道該怎麼做，改變還是很複雜、不容易的。
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