第一年當老師─最痛苦的事情

"The most painful part of being a teacher is scolding or getting into conflicts with students."

當老師最痛苦的就是罵人，和學生起衝突了！

Character Description 人物設定

Name: Daniel

Gender: Male

Age: 24

Occupation: Recent college graduate working as a teacher

Description:

• Tall and slender build
• Wears gold-rimmed glasses
• Gentle and somewhat timid personality
• Shies away from conflict and tends to be shy
• Thoughtful and prefers peaceful resolutions
• Dedication to students' needs and providing support
• Caring and considerate educator

Story

I still remember my first year as a teacher – I used to cry quite a bit. There were times when I completely lost it in the office, I think I broke down into tears maybe three or four times! I vaguely recall hearing my colleagues whispering, "That new teacher, he's probably quitting tomorrow, right? Just look at how he's bawling his eyes out!"

I remember that the toughest part of being a teacher was maintaining discipline and scolding students. I was seen as the goody-two-shoes in everyone's eyes, and I dreaded getting into conflicts. Arguing with people just didn't sit well with me. However, as a teacher, I couldn't escape the responsibility of keeping order in the classroom – that's where my struggles began.

Back in my childhood, they used to call me the "Crybaby." Maybe it's because our society expects boys not to shed tears, so when I did, my peers didn't think much of it. I had very few friends, and I wasn't one to enjoy squabbling with others. Every time someone teased me, I would hide somewhere to cry alone. I was afraid of being seen because, without fail, when I started crying, others would just laugh even louder.

So, how did I survive that time? The answer is simple: I fell in love!

I developed a crush on someone and started pursuing them. I made a promise to be responsible for them, ensuring their well-being. Despite the fact that teaching was genuinely tough for me, I kept at it because it offered a steady paycheck. Crying in the office was pretty embarrassing, and hearing my colleagues gossip about me made me feel miserable. But to soldier on, I began seeking advice and learning from other teachers, especially when it came to managing discipline and effective teaching methods.

I remember, around the six-month mark of being a teacher, I vented to a friend: "I find scolding students really agonizing. What would you do in my shoes?"

"I'd try having a class meeting with the students to establish class rules together. Make it clear what consequences they'd face for not following the rules," my friend suggested.

"Then what?" I asked.

"Then, you enforce the rules with those students who don't comply. Follow the class rules that everyone agreed on," my friend said.

"But punishing them sometimes leads to conflicts with the students, and that makes me really uncomfortable," I said.

"Look at it from a different perspective. If your students do something wrong and you don't enforce the rules, they'll see the rules and you as a joke. Is that a good way to shape their character? Do you want your students to grow up as disrespectful, rule-breaking individuals?" my friend calmly replied.

"That's not what I mean. It's just that I'm afraid of upsetting people," I explained.

"You don't need to worry about upsetting others. As a teacher, you should fulfill your responsibilities. Try to distance yourself and approach it from a third-party perspective," my friend advised.

"I understand what you mean. A teacher has certain duties to fulfill. I'll overcome my inner obstacles – I'll pretend that life is just a play, and I'm a supporting character in it. I'll make sure to play this role well, you can trust me!" I promised.

I gave myself a year to see if I could adapt to this role. Perhaps we're all just cogs in the social machine, and each of us can contribute to society in our own way.

人物設定

• 姓名： Daniel
• 性別：男
• 年齡： 24歲
• 職業： 剛從大學畢業的老師

描述：

• 身材高瘦
• 戴金邊眼鏡
• 溫和，有點內向的性格
• 不喜歡衝突，有些害羞
• 喜歡仔細思考，傾向於和平解決問題
• 關心學生的需求
• 是位充滿關懷和體貼的老師

內文

還記得我第一年當老師的時候，常常哭。

大概在辦公室情緒失控過幾次，好像爆哭過3次還四次吧！

依稀記得，聽到同事的竊竊私語

「那個新老師，應該明天就會辭職了吧？看他哭得這麼慘！」

猶記得當老師最痛苦的就是管秩序和罵學生了

我一項是外人眼中的好好先生，我很害怕跟人起衝突，和人衝突讓我很沒安全感。但是，當老師不能不管秩序─這就是我痛苦的根源。

我小時候的綽號是「愛哭鬼」，可能這個社會普遍認為男生是不能哭的，所以我哭起來就特別被同齡人所不齒。我的朋友很少，我也不喜歡和人吵架，所以每次被別人笑，我都會自己跑去躲起來哭─怕被別人看到─因為每次我開始哭、其他人就會笑得更大聲。

那我是怎麼撐過這段時間的呢？答案是：「談戀愛！」

我喜歡上了一個人，我開始追求他。我答應會對他負責，會讓他衣食無憂。所以即使當老師真的讓我很痛苦，我還是因為這份工作有穩定的薪水而繼續做下去。在辦公室裡面大哭真的很丟臉，聽到同事竊竊私語讓我很難過。不過為了繼續幹下去，我開始虛心求教，請教起其他老師，他們管秩序和上課的妙招。

我記得大概是當老師半年左右的時候，我和朋友訴苦：「我覺得要去罵學生真的很痛苦。如果是你，你會怎麼做呢？」

「我會先試看看班會的時候和學生一起制定班規。並先表明如果不遵守會受到什麼懲罰，把一切都先講清楚。」

「然後呢？」我問道

「然後就是懲罰那些不遵守班規的學生。照之前大家決議的班規處罰。」我朋友說

「可是要去處罰他們，有時候會和學生起衝突，那樣的話我會很難受」我說

「你換個角度想，如果你學生做錯了，你都不處罰。那他們會視班規為笑話，視你為笑話。這對人格的養成真的好嗎？你希望你的學生成為目無尊長，不遵守法紀的人嗎？」我朋友平靜地說道

「我並不是這個意思。只是我有點害怕別人不高興。」我說

「別人不高興，你並不需要在意。你身為老師，就該把這個職位該做的事情做好。要不然你試試看把自己抽離，用第三者的角度去做事情。」我朋友說道

「我懂你的意思。老師有老師該負的職責。我會克服我的心裡障礙的─我就算用演的也會把這個腳色演好，你放心吧！」我承諾道

我給了自己一年的實踐時間，看自己能不能適應這個腳色。或許我們都是社會的螺絲釘，每個人都可以為社會做出貢獻。